3 'Avengers: Endgame' predictions that definitely won't happen.

Avengers: Endgame, is all the rage these days. Everyone's asking the question: Which heroes will come back, and which will fall into polyamorous relationships which eventually become tedious and unfulfilling?

It's tough to know for sure, but here at Hoary Gamer have been poring over every possible clue out there to come up with our list of Avengers: Endgame predictions.

Unlike those other idiots out there making predictions, we're not going to bore you with boring stuff that might actually happen, which is boring.

Without further ado, our three Avengers: Endgame predictions that definitely, definitely, hopefully, won't happen:

1. Thanos will wear a red thong instead of his battle armor

If you examine the footage from the first official Avengers: Endgame trailer closely, you'll notice that at one point there's a shot of Thanos' armor sitting unused.

YouTube screenshot


This raises the possibility that he actually won't be wearing his armor at all, and instead will opt for a red thong. The planet he's living on appears warm, and hey, when you make half the universe disappear, you deserve to indulge a little. Besides, who's going to make fun of Thanos?

Ultimately, we'd be surprised if Marvel decided to go this route. They've rarely made a habit of putting super-villains into bright red, lacy thongs, so it's doubtful they'll do it here.

2. Tony Stark will once again inadvertently create a super powerful AI being, but this time it will be Johnny 5 from 'Short Circuit'

Oops, he did it again! We predict audiences definitely won't hear the terrifying words of yet another super powerful robot that Tony Stark inadvertently gives consciousness to: "Five is alive!"

Yes, this would be a terrific storyline to introduce in Avengers: Endgame, but the biggest obstacle here is that the original Short Circuit is one of just two movies in existence that isn't owned by Disney. Bummer, but we just don't see this one happening.

3. Halfway through the movie Andy Kaufman will enter the theater and reveal he's been alive this whole time

Photo by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash

"Suprise, morons!" is something you're unlikely to hear coming out of Andy Kaufman's mouth halfway through your local screening of Avengers: Endgame.

While it would be totally Andy Kaufman to do something like that, cloning technology just isn't to the point where he could have clones simultaneously be in every theater across the country that's showing Avengers: Endgame at exactly halfway through every screening. Sorry, but chalk this one up to cold, hard science.

There you have it, three things that we hope to God will not happen in Avengers: Endgame. What boring predictions do YOU have?

James K.

James K.

Founder of Classic Nerd and grumpy old dude. All opinions are mine and are always right.