7 min read

The top 10 sweetest pads owned by James Bond villains

Written by: Mike Ettel

Don't act like you wouldn't want to live in these.
The top 10 sweetest pads owned by James Bond villains

From their laser beam tables to their bionic eyeballs to the fluffy white cats that sometimes follow them around, there’s never been anything subtle about Bond villains.

That includes the lairs from which they conduct their dastardly business.

In the latest (and last) from Daniel Craig, No Time to Die, Rami Malek’s villain du jour kicks it in a massive concrete island base that’s home to some of the world’s most toxic plants. Sounds like a great place for dispatching henchmen who have failed to kill Bond, but maybe not such a great place to live (depending on your brand of aesthetics).

Some of 007’s other opponents, however, really knew how to live in style. You almost have to wonder why somebody would feel compelled to take over the world when they’re already set up in the sweetest pad ever. But I guess, as the saying goes, for some even the world is not enough. So cuddle up with your favorite fluffy white cat (or perhaps you have a sullen-looking goldfish, which you should probably just leave in the bowl—and maybe try to cheer up sometime), and join me on a tour through ten of the raddest domiciles belonging to Bond villains.

10. Palmyra - Thunderball (1965)

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Let’s be real, any waterfront property in the Bahamas is not going to be too shabby of a place to live. Especially when it comes with two pools. Though SPECTRE’s No. 2, Emilio Largo, spends much of his time on the island directing underwater frogmen on where to move a couple of atomic bombs—as one does when they’re in the Bahamas—he also gets in some skeet shooting and enjoys a refreshing Rum Collins by the pool. Any villain who favors pool chairs and sea breeze over command stations and the hum of nuclear reactors can’t be all bad.

Pet friendly?

Why yes, the place comes with its own Golden Grotto sharks. Just don’t mix up the swimming pool with the shark pool or accidentally leave the underwater passage open between them. Wait…why are the shark pool and the swimming pool connected? Who designed this place?!

9. Clifftop monastery - For Your Eyes Only (1981)

St. Cyril’s, the monastery that serves as a not-so-accessible getaway for smuggler and opportunist Aris Kristatos, is found high in the stunning Meteora rock formations of Greece’s backcountry. The cottage-like residences and interior courtyards feel quaint and cozy in a medieval sort of way, but the real draw here would no doubt be the view.

While the real monastery dates back to at least the 11th century, it’s actually still occupied today by Greek Orthodox monks. So you technically could live there if you wanted to. I mean, you’d have to be a Greek Orthodox monk and go without running water, but I’m just saying, you know, if you really wanted to….

Pet friendly?

I’d suspect birds would be able to handle the altitude.

8. Stud farm - Goldfinger (1964)

This one is just the place for the sportsman who wants to get away from it all: mint juleps on the veranda, afternoon horse rides, country banjo tunes licking the air, and when the sun gets too fierce a game of billiards in that fabulous Ken Adam-designed rumpus room.

With the perfectly laidback atmosphere of his Kentucky ranch already at hand, it’s hard to see what more Goldfinger has to gain from obliterating Fort Knox. Pussy Galore mentions she plans to use her share from the caper to retire to an island somewhere. If you ask me, Goldfinger’s already got the perfect retirement spot. There’s even a little KFC right around the corner.

Pet friendly?

This place is an equestrian’s paradise.

7. Luxury villa - Licence to Kill (1989)

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