6 Star Wars characters who totally got screwed on their deaths
The epic, beloved space soap opera — er Star Wars saga — is not lacking in fatalities. Attack of the Clones alone sees about 160 characters meet their endings onscreen; this doesn’t even include the Jedi that perish on Geonosis offscreen.
Some of the residents of this galaxy far, far away perish at the hands of lightsabers, in the cockpits of X-Wings, or in the mouth of a suspiciously gooey Rancor. Many deaths suit their characters, and many are just downright awesome; like General Grievous’ heart and EYEBALLS catching on fire after Obi-Wan shoots him five times.
But, not all characters meet the endings they deserved. Here are six onscreen deaths that should’ve been much, much cooler.
Hats off to our brave, Nautolan hero. Jedi Master Kit Fisto survived the Battle of Geonosis, became a Jedi General in the Clone Wars and a member of the Jedi Council. As you can see from his title, he was put on the council and given the rank of master. Better luck next time, Anakin…
We all know the scene. Mace Windu rolls up into Chancellor Palpatine’s office with three other masters – Fisto, Agen Kolar, and Saesee Tiin.
“Boy, these are pretty good odds,” someone who has never seen Star Wars might think.
All four masters ignite their sabers as Windu informs Palpatine that he’s under arrest. They seem pretty ready to face a battle, until the elderly man sitting at a desk in front of them ignites a lightsaber, and demonically yells as he twists across his desk. I would imagine that might stun someone, even a Jedi Master, for a moment or two; especially given the gravity of discovering that the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic is actually a Sith Lord. Lots to unpack here, folks.
But Fisto, Kolar, and Tinn are Jedi Masters. They should be ready for what happens next. Instead, Palpatine thrusts his saber right through Kolar, does a little spin, and slashes Tiin.
Ahh, what could have been. Come on, Tiin.
While his colleagues get cut like soft butter to meet their tragic ends, Fisto has a brief moment to process, prepare, and react as he and Windu duel the Chancellor. Instead, it takes all of six seconds from the moment Tiin dies to Fisto’s death, as Palpatine cuts his midsection.
Fisto makes this ranking because it’s ultimately disappointing that a Jedi of both his skill and rank was unable to make it out of the 4-on-1 duel alive. Granted, nobody did (if only Windu had a parachute), but for Fisto to last less than 10 seconds before being given the partial Darth Maul treatment is honestly pretty lame.
I cut Kolar and Tiin some slack, because you could argue that there were just simply stunned by both Palpatine aerial corkscrewing towards them and the startling yell. But I firmly believe that Fisto should’ve survived another several seconds in this fight, at least.
But, hey. At least he died knowing that Anakin did the right thing, and that Mace Windu would probably win the duel.
Smile big, buddy. We miss you.
Alright, let’s jump from Episode III to Episode VI here. Boba Fett, both clone and son of Jango Fett, watched his father get beheaded in the same battle that we just discussed Kit Fisto kicking butt in. Tough start for this guy.
But Fett was tough, and quickly rose to prominence as one of the deadliest, most successful bounty hunters in the galaxy. His reputation was great enough that he was one of the people Darth Vader tasked with getting Han Solo and the Millenium Falcon crew to create a trap for Luke Skywalker. We also all know he worked for the Hutts. This job must have paid well if Fett spent that much time in Jabba’s dank, smelly palace in the middle of a desert.
Coincidentally, this is where he meets a really stupid end. I know, I know – being eaten by a Sarlacc is not the lamest way to die. But hear me out, because my argument here is the manner in which he becomes Sarlacc Kibble.
Han Solo – BLIND – picks up a spear, turns around quickly once Chewbacca warns him that Fett is nearby, and … the spear hits Fett’s jetpack. This sets the jetpack off, Fett hurtles into Jabba’s barge, and he rolls into the hungry Sarlacc, waiting below.
Watch the following GIF for a visual:
“Boba Fett? Boba Fett?! Where?”
One of the galaxy’s toughest, most feared bounty hunters meets his end due to afumbling, temporarily blind guy bumping into him.
For anyone at this point who would say he doesn’t belong on this list, because he could’ve crawled out of the Sarlacc pit and survived.
No. He’s dead.
Jek Tono Porkins
Pull up, Porkins. Pull up. You can’t hold it.
Rebel Alliance hero Jek Tono Porkins, or “Red Six” when he’s in hero mode, played an instrumental role in the destruction of the Death Star. His final flight maneuver during the Battle of Yavin was later called “The Porkins Belly Run” and became part of Resistance training nearly 30 years later.
Porkins helped destroy one of the deflection towers on the Death Star, which was crucial in taking down part of its shield. This, unfortunately, resulted in his death. The debris from the tower’s destruction struck his X-wing and it began to malfunction. Rather than “pull up,” away from the Death Star’s turbolasers, Porkins, well, did not pull up.
Red Six makes the list because had he followed instructions from Biggs Darklighter and removed himself from the danger, maybe he could’ve gotten a medal from Princess Leia on Yavin IV.
Red Six, we’ll always stand by for you.
Putting Solo on this list may be a contentious act, but it’s not without much consideration. When I first watched The Force Awakens, I couldn’t help but be disappointed that THE Han Solo, who needs literally no introduction in this article, was killed by his own son.
Some fans might argue that this killing was pointless. I think the fact that Snoke, in the next movie says, “the deed split your spirit to the bone,” shows that killing his father was a pivotal moment on Kylo Ren’s rocky path.
Look, Star Wars is no stranger to rocky father-son relationships. Vader didn’t exactly teach Luke how to throw a baseball and drive a car. But for one of the most beloved, iconic characters in the Star Wars saga to die at the hands of a character we had just met that movie… blew.
Putting Solo on this list is much more rooted in emotionally-driven opinion. For decades, he was one of the bravest, fearless, funny and incredible characters any of us had ever known. Dying at the hands of his whiny, painfully conflicted son wasn’t the ending I expected or hoped he would meet.
The worst part – Chewbacca had to watch. I mean, rip my heart out already, JJ Abrams. I’m done.
Speaking of hearts…
Padme Amidala obviously had to die before Episode IV. But it’s the manner in which she died that is so unbefitting her character.
I mean, this is a woman who fights off a Nexu with ONLY a chain.
Padme is a fighter, through and through. Which makes her death – losing the will to live – so not Padme.
She was a ruler, princess, queen, senator, secret wife of a Jedi (almost Master, on the council, but not quite. Right Anakin?), and a survivor of numerous assassination attempts.
Losing the will to live, but otherwise being medically sound, is a surprising ending for a character we’d otherwise assume would do anything to protect her children from her husband-turned-Sith. Her life, filled with strength and power, flickers out quietly like the flames that burned her husband’s armor in a ceremonial fire years after her death.
However, there is an asterisk here. Though the medical droid said she lost the will to live, there is a strong theory floating around that Darth Sidious siphoned what existed of the Force inside of Padme, and put it into Anakin. It’s unlikely that this droid could have detected that her connection to the Force was severed, hence the explanation of losing the will to live.
And we know, based upon Darth Sidious’ conversation with Anakin at the Galaxies Opera House, that it’s very likely he knew how to use midi-chlorians to influence both life and death. Though this may be a stretch and was never confirmed, we also never get a clear answer on how exactly Anakin Skywalker was conceived; but we presume it was the Force.
Boga the Varactyl
The most painful death in the entire Star Wars saga. Poor, precious, innocent Boga plunges down the Pau Sinkhole on Utapau, just before Obi-Wan Kenobi kills General Grievous.
There’s not much to say here, besides the fact that she was adorable, made the cutest sounds, and her death made it feel like I watched a puppy tragically die. There were a lot of sad deaths in Revenge of the Sith, but perhaps Boga was the toughest to witness.
Boga, you were the sweetest of all the varactyl, and you deserve to live forever. Run through the grassy, flower-filled meadows of varactyl heaven, you delightful beast.
About the Author: Kelcey is a freelance reporter who has been featured in a variety of publications. She loves Star Wars, Animal Crossing, and almost every PlayStation game ever made. If you think you’ve completed all the park objectives in Roller Coaster Tycoon more times than she has, she’ll take you up on that bet.