Let’s be real for a second: the ‘90s were peak-cereal era.
No decade prior or since has even come close to the level of pure madness going on in that industry. Companies were basically throwing as many insane ideas at the wall as they could to see what stuck.
Sure, most didn’t, but there were also plenty that should have.
While they might be considered bowls of child abuse by today’s standards of what qualifies as food, it doesn’t change the fact that these 10 cereals that never made it out of the ‘90s were highlights while they lasted.
Cereal is amazing, don’t get us wrong, but it usually can’t be described as “exciting” from bite to bite. That is, unless, you’re eating Hidden Treasures during the precious two years it was available.
Every sweet corn puff may look identical, but some were filled with fruity fillings like cherry, grape, or even nothing at all! In the end, that didn’t matter much when shoveling them in our gullets by the spoonful, but still made each bite a new taste adventure.
French Toast Crunch
Toast-flavored cereals are dominated today by Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which is top-tier cereal, no doubt, but this unique spin really tried to sell the idea that you were eating a shrunken version of straight-up french toast.
The cereal itself was shaped like bread and had a healthy maple flavoring that turned the milk into thick molasses that could probably rot a tooth on contact.
Count Chocula
Because what doesn’t scream chocolate cereal better than a vampire?
Chocolate cereal is already an impossible-to-screw-up formula since it’s basically a two-for-one: chocolate cereal and bowl of chocolate milk to wash it down.
The vampire was just to stand out, and it worked because who doesn’t remember Count Chocula? Technically this horror-themed cereal first rose from its coffin in the 70s, but everyone remembers it for the ‘90s version of the mascot.
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Urkel-Os
Really, is there anything more ‘90s than Urkel-Os?
Whoever thought this one up either deserves a promotion or to be locked up in a mental asylum. Somehow, this cherry and banana ring cereal stuck it out for longer than Urkel was even on the air, again showing the power of cereal.
Berry Berry Kix
Let’s face it, basic Kix suck. They’re just corn puffs with sugar, but Berry Berry Kix adding in purple and red mini-clusters with berry flavors turned out to be the kick in the tastebuds this cereal needed. It was like adding in the marshmallows to Lucky Charms.
And hey, they had to be somewhat healthy since they were shaped like fruit, right?
Good news (for some of you at least): Berry Berry Kix recently made a comeback. It’s not really quite the same, but good enough to take a trip down memory lane.
Dino Pebbles
Fruity Pebbles is the defacto Flinstones cereal, but simply shaping the fruity chunks into dino-shapes made it hit way different — in the same way animal crackers or animal-shaped chicken nuggets just taste better.
Oh, and the marshmallows certainly didn’t hurt either.
Pop-Tarts Crunch
This is another one of those ideas of taking an existing breakfast food and turning it into cereal. Somehow, those almost always turn out amazing, including Pop-Tarts Crunch.
It’s exactly what you expect, and just as delicious — shrunken down frosted Pop-Tarts.
It only came in brown sugar cinnamon and strawberry, which is a shame because there are so many other Pop-Tart flavors that we’d love to pour a bowl of.
Oreo O’s
Oreos are already marketed as being milk’s favorite cookie, so this idea was a no-brainer. Really, though, this cereal just said F pretending cereal was anything more than a bowl full of cookies.
And you know what? We appreciate their honesty almost as much as we blame them for staining our teeth.
While it disappeared from American shelves, apparently it is still available in some Asian countries.
If the name and obnoxiously loud box of this cereal don’t scream ‘90s to you, nothing will.
The only accurate way to describe this cereal is as being star-shaped cakes covered in sprinkles — and they tasted just as good.
Sometimes you just need a big purple genie and a box of sugar-coated sugar to make a great cereal.
Rice Krispies Treats Cereal
Like Oreo O’s, the main draw here was taking an existing candy product, shrinking it down, then saying it counted as breakfast because we put it in a bowl with milk.
This was the laziest in terms of execution since we’re 99% sure they just took existing Rice Krispie Treats, broke them into smaller chunks, and shoved them in a box.
These actually recently resurfaced, but with a new formula—which is apparently so bad there’s a petition to change it back to the original … with over 17,000 signatures so far.
