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Even if you were one of those freaks who somehow didn’t have a childhood that instilled so much trauma into your psyche that you’re still struggling to hold it together today, you have to admit that everyone wished they were born into their favorite sitcom family. Even the “normal” ones still had crazy adventures and lessons we would kill to be a part of.
Would life be completely stressful to actually live in a sitcom? Yes, incredibly so, but we’ll take that over the slow, creeping depression of our actual childhoods.
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Tim Taylor is your stereotypical “dad” in just about every sense of the word, but the kind that takes things WAY too far.
Whether on his own show or just trying to do basic repairs, being in this family would be like having your own personal America’s Funniest Home Video show every day.
The Matthews — Boy Meets World
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Boy Meets World is supposed to be a more grounded, coming-of-age story with no “crazy” storylines. And it is. So why the hell would we want to be in this family?
Because WHO THE HELL gets to grow up in a family with two loving, understanding parents who share wisdom and don’t get divorced, a brother who looks out for you, and the wisest teacher (who also happens to be the voice of KITT in Knight Rider) ready to give you advice right next door?
The Banks — The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
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Rich? Check. Hilarious? Check. Will Smith? Sign us the hell up!
Honestly, just being raised in a house with a young Will Smith would be enough. Screw it, who even needs a house? We’ll sleep in a cardboard box to chill with Will! Throw in a butler and mansion in Bel-Air? Say less.
The Spellmans — Sabrina the Teenage Witch
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Even if being part of this family didn’t come with our own magic powers, just living in a house with three witches — REAL MAGILC-WEILDING WITCHES — would blow our minds.
That’s not even the best part — you also get to live with a wise-cracking talking cat!
The Tanners — Full House
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The Tanners might feel like another “realistic” family, but take a closer look.
Sure, it’s sad and all that, Danny is a single father with three girls, but what about everything else? You’re basically in a mansion in San Francisco, have a stand-up comic and rockstar living with you, and somehow manage to afford it all.
Aside from the neverending entertainment going on around you, I suspect you’d secretly be super rich too. On the other hand, all those catchphrases would get old, quick.
The Macks — The Secret World of Alex Mack
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Don’t lie, I know you’re sleeping on The Secret World of Alex Mack.
Alex basically has the exact same thing happen to her as Daredevil, only instead of going blind and developing echolocation, she can shoot electricity from her hands, use telekinesis, and… turn into a pool of water? OK, that last one is lame, but having a sister who can cast chainlighting on people is dope!
The Simpsons — The Simpsons
Tenor
If you can handle your life getting turned upside-down every week, knowing it would somehow all revert by the end of the day, how could you not want to spend your life in Springfield with the Simpsons?
One day you might wake up to Homer joining the Yakuza, and the next Bart has replaced his teeth with bananas. Literal cartoon antics that you could never predict.
The Solomons — 3rd Rock from the Sun
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We can’t pick the Coneheads because that’s just a movie and SNL skit, but the Solomons are the next best thing considering it was written by many of the same people.
Sure, they’re not the most exciting aliens we could think of, but if they were some crazy bubble-skin monster we wouldn’t want to live with them, would we? Seeing these aliens grapple with all the stupid crap we humans do, especially today, would be endlessly entertaining… and sad now that I think about it.
The Marshes — South Park
Tenor
Of all the kids in South Park, Stan has the most stable home life, but also just enough wackiness thanks to his dad to make things interesting.
You could kind of get away with anything here, and probably even rope Randy in on your hijinks most of the time. Honestly, this pick is just me wanting to get to hang out with Randy.
The Hendersons — Smart Guy
How much could you rig the system having a 10-year-old genius as a brother?
Sure, he isn’t a super-genius who could invent some crazy tech or somehow crack the stock market or anything, but you could at least coast your way through high school and pull off some dope hustles, right? That counts for something.
